The following is an extended version of the story that appears in our latest print edition.

The Office of Bronx District Attorney Darcel D. Clark, together with the Office of Bronx Borough President Vanessa Gibson and the New York Yankees hosted the 6th Annual Run/Walk/Roll to End Domestic Violence on Saturday, Oct. 7. The event kicked off at the steps of Bronx Borough Hall at 161st Street and the Grand Concourse in the Concourse section of the borough at 9.30 a.m. under heavy rain.

 

The rain did not deter those determined to ensure the annual event went ahead, however. From babies to the elderly, even some dogs and a biker joined the route. Addressing attendees before the event, Clark said, “In the six years that we’ve held this, somebody gets triggered. Somebody realizes that they do need help.” She said she wanted victims to know that her office was available to do just that. “We have a wellness table,” Clark said, adding that counselors and advocates were available to speak with survivors, if needed.

As usual, the event began with survivors speaking about their experiences in overcoming their respective situations, in efforts to give courage to others who might be in a similar plight, and to generally raise awareness of what has been described as a domestic violence “epidemic” in The Bronx.

 

NYPD statistics show a nearly 59% increase in domestic violence offenders from 2021 to 2022. Furthermore, NYPD officials say domestic, intimate partner, and other family homicides are more likely to occur in The Bronx, compared to any other borough. NYPD data shows that in 2022, there were 2,333 complaints reported in the 52nd Precinct, which covers some or all of Norwood, Bedford Park, Fordham, Kingsbridge, Bronx Park, and University Heights.

 

Meanwhile, in the 46th Precinct, which covers some or all of Fordham, University Heights, Morris Heights and Mount Hope, there were 2,857 for the same period, while in the 50th Precinct, which covers some or all of Riverdale, Fieldston, Kingsbridge, Marble Hill, and Spuyten Duyvil, for the same period, there were 1,211 complaints.

The 47th Precinct, which covers some or all of Woodlawn, Wakefield, Williamsbridge, Baychester, Edenwald, Olinville, Fishbay, and Woodlawn Cemetery, had the highest number of DV complaints in The Bronx, and the second highest in the City for the same period, at 4095. The 75th Precinct which covers parts of Brooklyn, including Cyprus Hill, registered the highest number of complaints across the City, at 4,349 for 2022.

 

Of her journey through domestic violence, one survivor, Clara Ross Spiegel, explained how she embarked on a relationship in 2010 that she said dramatically changed her life in every way. “Years later, he [her abuser] would tattoo that date on his hand as a symbol of his love and devotion to our family,” she said.

 

“It would be easy to vilify him in this moment, but that’s not what I’m going to do,” Ross Spiegel said. “He is very loving, protective, funny, intelligent, charismatic, and talented. He made breakfast in bed for me every Saturday morning. He would tell me he loved me every time I rolled over in my sleep. He gave massages and made bubble baths when I had a bad day. He made up rhymes and songs for our kids. He is a lot of fun. He is also a victim of an abusive childhood, and he fought every day to break the cycle of abuse until he lost that fight.”

She continued, “He is a complex person who is entitled to compassion and understanding. Two things can be true at the same time. While one side can be more dominant, it is often difficult at any one moment to see both sides. It is that challenge that involves dialectical thinking.” The latter refers to the ability to view issues from multiple perspectives and to arrive at the most economical and reasonable reconciliation of seemingly contradictory information and postures.

 

Ross Spiegel went on to say that she and her partner created a beautiful family and [at one point] a life together. “To say that I’m heartbroken that our relationship ended in the way that it did would be a gross understatement,” she said. “We have all been devastated, and we are all trying to find some meaning in this suffering. I did not come out unscathed, while he suffers the ramifications. I hope that he finds peace and healing.”

 

She said when their relationship ended, she began the tumultuous journey of disclosing and filing reports. “The process felt cold and many times dehumanizing,” Ross Spiegel said. “I then met Detective Kelly who had become the arresting officer. He listened, he was kind, and he made it feel safe to take the next steps. I would also like to highlight [inaudible] Alison Klein. Without her, none of this would have been possible. She was thoughtful. She immediately understood the immensity of what I had just gone through.”

Ross Spiegel explained how she later had to learn that her experience was not all that she was. “This sharing, today, is with purpose, to stand aside and amplify the voices of all survivors and contribute to the cosmic dialogue and social change,” she said.

 

Later, she talked about how her kids were doing well and about her family in general. “The person I am today is largely credited to my mom, who is also here with us today,” she said. She went on to talk about how her mom had supported her with love, laughter, empathy, compassion, and a deep commitment to justice.” Amid applause, she added, “Above all, she taught me strength and resilience. Thank you, Mom. You are my example for everything.”

 

Separately, in efforts to highlight that domestic violence knows no gender boundaries. another speaker, Nadine Walker, talked about how her brother, Eddie, also a victim of domestic violence, died because of it. “On March 12, 2021, at 5:55 p.m., I saw my brother take his last breath,” she said. “Myself, my daughter, my brother, my brother’s best friend. We’re all lost. We just couldn’t process this. It wasn’t until I was at his funeral, where I got to speak to his coworkers, and his coworkers shared some information that I knew nothing about.”

Walker explained that his coworkers shared with her how a particular “friend” had been verbally abusive to her brother. “My brother was coming into work with bruises that he would not tell me about,” she said. “At some point in time, his coworkers would say, ‘Where’s your sister? Don’t you got a sister?’ And he was like, ‘Man, she pregnant. She can’t do nothin’.'”

 

Walker said that at her brother’s funeral, when everybody had said their goodbyes, she and her family were left lost, trying to figure out what had happened. “He was a father. He was a big brother, and I just couldn’t understand why somebody wanted to take his life,” Walker said. “I knew my brother was trying his best to leave the relationship [he was in] without any harm.”

 

She said she wished her brother would have said something. “I would have told him he didn’t have to endure this,” she said. “I wanted him to come to me, or my brother, or my sisters, and to [have] talked to us. We would have shown him who he was. We would have reminded him what love was.”

She continued in part, ‘I realize growing up in certain households can blind you into different kinds of love. When you’re young, and you experience turmoil, abuse, you don’t know what true love is. You embrace the toxic love because that’s what you know. I wished we talked more. I wished I called him before that weekend, because I would have told them it’s not love.”

 

Walker went on to say that her nephew only has a memory of his dad now, her niece never got to see her dad congratulate her for her high school graduation or for her prom. “She knew that she didn’t have him for those milestones,” Walker said. “He missed her Sweet 16 because of this.

 

She said Eddie didn’t tell her what was going on. “He did that to protect me, as his little sister, and he was being the role as the big brother,” she said, her voice trembling. “I now saw that he was protecting me at that moment. My brother did disclose about wanting to end his relationship and wanting to end it peacefully.”

Concluding, she said, “I know now, and I see how hard it is for any human being to speak of this kind of treatment. I want everyone here, male, female here, I want you guys to know that if, for some reason, any relationship that you are in, if there are red flags, and you feel like it’s not sitting good in your gut, listen to your gut.”

 

Read our previous story here on the borough president’s launch of her “31 Days of Action Against DV” awareness campaign.

 

Click here, here, here, here, and here to read some of our previous coverage on the topic of DV.

 

Local services for those affected by domestic or gender-based violence are also available in The Bronx. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic or gender-based violence, call 311 and ask to be connected to a NYC Family Justice Center or walk-in Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Call the NYC 24/7 Domestic Violence Hotline on 1-800-621-4673, or visit the NYC Mayor’s Office to End Domestic and Gender-Based Violence for more information.

 

If you are in immediate danger, if you can, dial 911.