Editor’s Note: The following is an extended version of the story that appears in our latest print edition.

Love is in the air and on Feb. 14, across the globe, millions celebrated Valentine’s Day. At one Norwood store, we were told flower sales were up by a whopping 70 percent. So, is it just another opportunity to make a quick buck or is there merit in reminding people of love? To find out, we are grateful to those Bronxites who were brave enough to talk to us about their own love stories.

 

In the company of her sister and speaking in Spanish, Maria Altagracia told Norwood News, “Valentine’s is about friendship and love, appreciating a person, taking care of love, and not just the love of a partner, but the love of friends, neighbors, and the love that is shared between those most cherished.”

 

She added, “It’s something that is celebrated all over the world and we see everyone dressed in red, even the teachers. St. Valentine..…..love!” Asked about her own love story, Maria Altagracia said her husband’s name is Octavio. “I’m 45 years married,” she said. Asked how she and Octavio met, she said, “I was in university in Santo Domingo in the Dominican Republic, studying to become a teacher and that’s where we met, and from then on……”

 

We asked what was the secret that has kept them together for 45 years. “Understanding,” she said. In terms of the qualities her husband possesses that she appreciates, Maria Altagracia said, “Oh, he’s a person who gives me my freedom. I don’t have any problems to go out.” Her sister added, “He trusts her.”

 

We also asked what quality she first saw in Octavio that made her fall in love with him. “He’s a workhorse,” Maria Altagracia replied. “He’s honorable and honest.”

 

Later we spoke to Omari and Tayler who are both over 18, are friends, but not in a relationship. We asked for their thoughts on what makes for a good relationship these days. Omari said, “I would say communication.” Tayler agreed. “Respect, loyalty, trust,” she added. Omari added, “You have to trust your partner. You have to trust that they’ll respect you when you’re not around.”

Asked what was the first thing that attracted them to other people, Omari said, “I would say looks, I’m not gonna lie.” Tayler, meanwhile, replied, “I’d say personality or if a person’s funny.”

 

We asked if, in their opinion, they felt having common interests e.g. in sports or music was a good basis for a relationship. They both agreed but were not completely sold on the idea. Asked if they have been in relationships already, Omari was more vocal in his affirmative response. We also asked what the best part was about being in a relationship. Omari said, “I would say being able to do something that you enjoy with somebody else.”

 

The alternate “Galentine’s Day” popularized by the TV series “Parks & Recreation,” is marked by some single people in February who perhaps feel a bit out of sorts when it comes to the pressures of Valentine’s Day, but still wish to mark the occasion in some way among friends.

 

Mary Kennedy, a resident of Norwood who is originally from Sydney, Australia, told Norwood News, “I think I’m past feeling out of sorts. Like, I just feel blessed with my life in general.” With one marriage now over, Kennedy said, “Sometimes, you’ve got to walk through the fire to get to a better place and so, I’ve found myself in a beautiful apartment. I keep in touch with friends from Australia. My neighbors in the building are gorgeous. I’ve struck up some really beautiful friendships.”

 

She continued, “My neighbors and I started this nice tradition of cocktail parties, fine dining with my mixology course [the creation and innovation of cocktails].” Kennedy works as a nurse in Manhattan. “I’ve struck up a couple of solid friendships with nurses so I just think that I’m pretty content,” she said.

 

We asked if she had witnessed a lot of love firsthand in her capacity as a nurse during the pandemic when so many were saying goodbye to loved ones on a regular basis. “Unfortunately, some of them didn’t get to say goodbye,” she said. “Remember that it was pre-vaccine so it was very scary.”

 

She added, “I work in emergency psych now so it’s the ER part but psychiatric. Prior to that, I was on the unit. The sad thing is those nurses really suffered. Some died, you know? Some got really sick. Actually, quite a few nurses on my unit got sick. What was sad was just the ambulance bays…… just full of bodies. They were just like overflowing.” Kennedy said it was sad when people died and didn’t have their loved ones with them. “That’s terrible. When they drew their last breath, they weren’t….” she said, without finishing her sentence.

We mentioned how from the outside, the public was led to believe nurses were doing their best to step in, fill the void, and be with patients in their final hours. “I mean, I hope so……depending on how busy it was,” Kennedy said. “I mean they would have been with them for sure, but whether they would have been holding their hand and really present, really present, when they were taking their last breaths… I don’t know.”

 

The Aussie native said she was also happy to have developed some good friendships within the chess community even though after her marriage broke up, she initially felt a bit ostracized from that community. Her ex-husband is a prominent chess master.

 

“It just kind of happened naturally, organically,” she said of those friendships. “It didn’t happen immediately. It took a couple of years but then those friendships are beautiful, and even in The Bronx, there’s a lot of potential within the chess community. A friend of mine actually teaches chess in an assisted living [complex] in Bronxwood.”

 

We mentioned how chess has been popularized in recent years by the Netflix series, “The Queen’s Gambit,” and how NYPL and the Bronx borough president have been organizing chess classes and contests for kids. “That’s cool,” Kennedy said. “I wish there was more stuff like that for adults. I never really got into chess until we broke up because the marriage was so stressful, which is ridiculous.”

 

She continued, “So, Valentine’s Day is fine. I think it’s beautiful for those people who want to, like, celebrate something special. To me, it’s nothing negative; it’s just a day of love as far as I’m concerned.” Kennedy added that she had even received some cute messages from two chess-playing friends who called her to wish her a happy Valentine’s Day. “Like, I don’t feel lonely, and it would take a lot for me to want to get into a romantic relationship again,” she said. “I’m pretty fussy.”

Statistics from the New York State Department of Health show that 5,041 divorces out of a total of 25,949 in New York City were filed in Bronx County in 2017. According to an Aug. 15, 2023 article by Forbes, the number one reason for divorce is lack of family support. An earlier January 2020 Gallup poll found that, “Although women comprise nearly half of the U.S. workforce, they still fulfill a larger share of household responsibilities.”

 

It continued, “Married or partnered heterosexual couples in the U.S. continue to divide household chores along largely traditional lines, with the woman in the relationship shouldering primary responsibility for doing the laundry (58%), cleaning the house (51%) and preparing meals (51%). At the same time, men continue to take the lead in keeping the car in good condition (69%) and doing yardwork (59%).” The poll found that perceptions about who does certain household tasks differed sharply by gender.”

 

As reported by the Associated Press, on Oct. 24, 1975, Iceland’s women organized a countrywide one-day strike when 90% of Icelandic women refused to work, clean, or look after children, to voice anger at discrimination in the workplace. The following year, the country passed a law guaranteeing equal rights irrespective of gender.

 

Forty-eight years later on Oct. 24, 2023, schools, shops, banks and Iceland’s famous swimming pools shut once more as Icelandic women, including the prime minister, went on strike again, this time to push for an end to unequal pay and gender-based violence.

 

Back in The Bronx, we asked Kennedy if she had any advice for younger people entering into relationships in 2024. Referencing another prior relationship, Kennedy said, “My official advice would be no matter how charming or charismatic……. it’s very hard though when you’re young; you don’t always take advice to heart. You have to learn your own lessons, but my advice would be, if I had kids, I’d be making them very wary about anyone who had a temper, and how they channel their anger. Now, I’m very much aware of that.”

 

She concluded, “My radar is so finely tuned [now]. So, I would say anyone who’s quick to anger, has a temper, and if they’ve ever had any history of laying hands on anyone, especially a woman, like, just don’t go there.”

 

The Bronx District Attorney’s domestic violence unit can be reached on (718) 838 6688 and provides confidential support and services to those affected by domestic violence.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, it is normal to feel scared, helpless and vulnerable. Remember you are not alone. Have questions? Need help? NYC DV Hotline: 1-800-621-HOPE (4673)