By Jeanmarie Evelly

On a recent weekday morning, dozens of people sat on folding chairs in the recreation room of the Andrew Jackson Senior Center in Melrose, listening to Minerva Velazquez-Munoz, a registered nurse, give tips on getting a reluctant patient to take their medication. You can cut the pills in half, she said; you can mix some of them with orange juice.

Next was a lesson in properly changing the dressings on a wound, and how to lift a patient from a bed without straining your back. Afterwards, those in attendance chatted over free coffee and bagels.

This wasn’t a medical conference, however, and none of the attendees were healthcare professionals. They were regular people with regular jobs, who, for any number of reasons and circumstances, have taken on the role of primary caregiver for an ill or disabled loved one. They’ve been charged with cooking meals, drawing baths, doling out medication and dealing with health insurance claims.

“Many people don’t even think of themselves as caregivers,” said Judy Santamaria, director of the caregiver support program at VNSNY CHOICE, a health plan affiliate of the nonprofit Visiting Nurse Service of New York. “They say, ‘Oh, that’s my mother,’ or ‘That’s my husband, I’m just taking care of him.’”

VNSNY CHOICE and Bronx Borough President Ruben Diaz, Jr., organized the event, a workshop on preventing caregiver “burnout.” According to Santamaria, about a million residents in New York City take care of an ill or disabled person at home. Many of them simultaneously hold full-time jobs, and few have any official medical training. The stress can make caregivers more vulnerable to health conditions like obesity, stroke, depression or fatigue.

“It’s just as important to take care of your own health as it is to take care of your family member,” Santamaria said.

Denise Fredericks has been taking care of her 79-year-old mother for over a decade, after she developed early onset Alzheimer’s in her early 60s. For years, the two women lived in the same apartment building, so Fredericks took on the role of caregiver almost entirely on her own, searching for the right home aide to help out and battling Medicaid over coverage. Over the last few months, the disease has escalated to the point where her mother has lost even her ability to speak.

“It’s rough,” Fredericks said. “My thing is, I’m just tired. Sixteen years is a long time.”

One key to avoiding caregiver burnout, Velazquez-Munoz said, is finding others who can help soften the load and take on some of the responsibilities. “Caregivers have to learn to delegate,” she said.

For those who don’t have an outside circle to rely on, joining a support group — many senior centers and hospitals offer them — can help a caregiver feel less isolated.

“Very often, we feel lost, and like we have no help,” said City Councilwoman Aurelia Greene, who attended the health workshop and told the crowd about her own experiences caring for her 96-year-old mother. “It’s really about learning ways to cope.”

Caregivers should make sure they take care of their own health, Santamaria said — get enough sleep, eat right, exercise, and keep their own doctor’s appointments. They should not hesitate to ask questions and communicate with their loved one’s physicians, particularly if they’re feeling overwhelmed or confused about any aspects of the care they’re providing.

Most importantly, Santamaria said, caregivers should make sure to set aside time for themselves, even if it’s in small and seemingly insignificant ways. “You don’t need to climb Mount Everest,” she said. “But if you can just find the time to take a bath, that might be all you need.”