Born on Sep. 4, 1928, Muriel, “Mickey” Axelbank, beloved mother to the always upbeat, and popular BronxNet TV host, Gary Axelbank, died early on Saturday, Apr. 4. A stalwart figure in her local community, Mrs Axelbank, 91, was active in the Kingsbridge Riverdale Van Cortlandt Development Corporation, leading events at the Van Cortlandt Jewish Center, and on the Joint Community Activities Council at Amalgamated Housing Cooperative, where she helped serve holiday meals and lead a games program for senior citizens.

 

Under normal circumstances, Axelbank, along with his brothers Arthur and Jeffrey, would have envisaged a large gathering at his mom’s funeral, given her long history as a well-known, much-loved and respected leader in the community. Instead, the presenter of both “BronxTalk,” and “The Bronx Buzz,” has recounted the strange and unanticipated, additional heartache the family experienced and continue to bear as they mourn and honor their mother’s passing during the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic.

 

“It took a little bit longer to get an appointment for the funeral because the funeral home was so backed up,” Axelbank said. “And the cemetery also was so backed up, whereas normally they would be able to give you an appointment.”

 

Even though Mrs Axelbank’s burial plot had already been reserved, her funeral was still delayed by a day or so. “It wasn’t like we had to search and find the places,” Axelbank said. Yet, despite this slight advantage, he found the process frustrating. “The rules were no more than six or eight people around the grave and so, you know, you couldn’t have a group of people,” he said.

 

Axelbank, whose family is Jewish, explained that even within their small group, social distancing rules still had to be followed around the graveside. “Normally, the rabbi would say, ‘Please gather close, right? Let’s get close’,” he said, adding, “You’re going through something, obviously, very emotional. It was frustrating in that way, you know?”

 

The complexities didn’t end with the burial. “Afterwards, you can’t even hug your family members,” he said. “Normally, you’d go to somebody’s house and have lunch or go to a restaurant and do that. You couldn’t do that.” Instead, Axelbank said the family adapted and held a picnic together in a park, while sitting on separate blankets ten feet apart.

 

In line with their faith and tradition, Jewish families would usually observe the shiva ritual, a week-long mourning period for immediate family members during which individuals discuss their loss and accept the comfort of others. “Normally you just open your door and people come in and visit,” Axelbank said.

However, due to the prevailing shelter-in-place restrictions, the family have had to organize a staggered virtual shiva. “We’re doing it on Zoom, right?” he said. “The friends and family – it’s a little bit complicated to figure out,” he added, explaining that shivas are not observed during Jewish holidays like Passover which began on Apr. 8. “We just opened up a virtual Zoom page and people come in and visit,” Axelbank said. “We had one last night [Apr. 7].” The family plans to have another on Sunday, Apr. 12.

 

Despite the unconventional circumstances, the family managed to find some solace in the experience. “As difficult as it was to have a Zoom shiva, it provided the opportunity to be able to be comforted by friends and family from Israel, the UK, The Netherlands, Hawaii, California, and North Carolina,” said Jeffrey Axelbank, Mickey’s youngest son. “So while we had to keep separated, there was also an extraordinary coming together that would not have happened had it been a more traditional funeral and shiva. Since Mickey’s life was devoted to bringing people together, this was quite appropriate.”

 

A representative from one Bronx-based funeral home, who did not want to share its name, confirmed that there is currently a two-week wait for cremations and that, as a result, Bronx hospitals are having to keep bodies of the recently deceased in their morgues for a longer period of time than usual. The Axelbank family were, at least, spared this upset.

 

“We have been comforted and truly buoyed by the outpouring of words we have received from people influenced by our mother over the decades,” said Mickey’s eldest son, Arthur Axelbank. “We are grateful to hear stories about how she affected people in a positive way – her role-modeling for professionals, and her personal advice about parenting for family members and friends.”

 

Mrs Axelbank’s full obituary can be read here.